True Tales

A good deal of this information came from the article, "Starting a Memoir Writing Group is Easy," by Cathy Fulton. When starting True Tales in Los Angeles, I found her tips quite helpful. You can find other helpful info at "Preserving Your Story."

Getting Your Group Started

Starting up a True Tales Memoir Writing Group is as easy as talking to a few friends, sending out an email and making a few phone calls. Each group will evolve on its own and develop its own style of running meetings/workshops. Here are some guidelines to help you on your way:

First of all, before you pick up that phone, be clear on your vision of the group’s purpose. I would say that the most important objective is to get our stories written, and not necessarily written well. Not everyone is a great writer, but everyone has a great story. Unless your anticipated group solely comprises writers who wish to hone their craft, be clear in your communication with others that the purpose is to write and share honest stories from our journey on the spiritual path. Those two things, the writing and the sharing, are the most profoundly fulfilling, illuminating, heart-opening, and powerful experiences you will have in True Tales.

Next, consider who you would like to participate in the group. True Tales began with only "old timers"(those in the Dharma 20 years or more) and I only invited people I knew fairly well. We are now open to anyone in the general sangat who desires to participate. The lesson learned here is that diversity is wonderful. Children and young adults offer a perspective that opens our minds and hearts to who they are, how they feel, and the completely honest and unedited way in which they express themselves. Newcomers, yoga students, Punjabi members of sangat… all will bring whole worlds of diverse experience. Inviting those you perhaps do not know very well, or even have had some past conflict with, brings the opportunity to know them in a truer way, heal a relationship, and increase the connectivity of community.

Got your list ready? Ideally you will want an end group of 5-15 people, knowing that every member won’t come to every meeting. Eight attendees is probably the maximum for a meeting, for everyone to have a chance to read a story. Since not everyone you invite will end up participating (even though they may sound very interested), have at least 15 people on your invitation list. In the alternative, don’t have a list. Be completely open, invite your entire community, and go with it. If more than 10-15 people definitely want to participate you can always have more than one group, or maybe you will come up with a format that works for a larger group.

A note on gender: I am a woman. I initially invited men and women to participate. Although several men were interested, none have ever attended our meetings. We still invite men and they have yet to join us. We have discussed this in our group and have agreed that we are all rather relieved. The level of sharing and intimacy, common interests in discussions, and so on, would likely be limited with a mixed group. (We can also argue that with a mixed group, a new and needed level of sharing and understanding would grow.) You might consider, depending on response, breaking into separate men’s and women’s groups, and then all meet together once in a while to share some of your favorite stories.

Now, it’s time to communicate. Talk to friends and tell them you are planning to start a memoir writing group and would they be interested? Personally connecting with each prospective member is most effective. Also, you can post a flyer on your community’s bulletin board and tell interested folks to contact you. Do you have a community newsletter? Put a short article in there, too. Collect e-mail addresses and send out an invitation letter with more details to those who’ve expressed interest and others you may not have yet spoken to. Perhaps include an easy first topic in your invitation letter, such as "The first time I did breath of fire…" and the date, time and location of the initial meeting.

Now you’re ready for your first meeting (circle, workshop, meeting… use whatever word works best for you).

Running a True Tales Meeting

The segments of your meeting will flow into these general categories: socializing, tuning in, sharing stories, discussion on topic and/or impromptu writing exercises, setting the topic and date-time-location for the next meeting, and closing.

Socializing and getting settled should take about 5-10 minutes. Once everyone has arrived the leader can welcome everyone, "I’d like to welcome you all and thank you for coming. Let’s get started by tuning in [with Aad Guray Nameh, or?], and then we can begin with our stories."

Sharing of stories - about an hour. Ask the group if anyone would like to begin with their story. Each person who wishes to read has a chance to do so, uninterrupted by questions or feedback. After each reading, there will naturally be discussion. The group knows that criticism should not be offered unless asked for by the writer. Comments are more likely to be along the lines of shared remembrances. The leader best keeps in mind the time and providing everyone a chance to read; if necessary bring discussion to a close and move to the next reader.

An alternative way to choose order of readers: Everyone who has a story to read puts their name on a small piece of paper and drops it in a basket. When their name is drawn, it’s their turn to read. This also works well for a larger-than-expected group when there is not time for everyone to read.

We have never set a time limit on the length of story. This consideration is up to the sentiments of your group. Sometimes the reader, knowing her piece is quite long, might ask if it’s OK to continue.

Discussion on Topic or Impromptu Writing Exercises - 30 minutes. Depending on time and the energy you sense in the group, do either or both of these.

Discussion: The leader (or someone chosen at the previous meeting) presents a topic that is helpful to the purpose of the group and other people join the discussion. It is not so much a lesson as it is a discussion of technique. You can get ideas from reading publications on memoir writing. Suggestions include, What is Truth?, how to get inspiration, tips on how to jog the memory, write an engaging paragraph, topic brainstorming, etc.). Including handouts of relevant articles printed off the internet and other resources is a good idea too.

Impromptu Writing Exercises wake up hidden memories and result in some of our best stories from professional to the least experienced writers. See "Waking Up Those Memories" for detailed instructions on fun, effective, and interactive games. Try to include at least one short writing exercise in every meeting, so even those who arrived without a story can depart with one in hand.

Set Topic and Next Meeting Date and Time - 10 minutes. Some people find it easier to write when they have an assignment: "Write a short story about sadhana at Summer Solstice and have it ready for the next meeting."Â Others like having topics to choose from, finding it hard to come up with one on their own. Sometimes there’s a story tapping on your shoulder that insists on being told and you feel no other topic will do, especially an assigned topic. For these reasons, we have found that it’s a good idea at the end of each meeting to choose one or more writing topics for the next meeting’s stories. If someone doesn’t feel like writing about any of the suggested topics, they can write about whatever they like. The only restriction to the topic is that it be relevant to the purpose of the group, i.e., memoirs about the journey on the spiritual path, or however else you have defined it.

Then everyone discusses and sets the date and location for the next meeting. Perhaps you will choose a regular time, such as the second Wednesday of every month. You may choose to rotate the location through members’ homes (as volunteered), or use a community room perhaps available in a yoga center, ashram or gurdwara. In Los Angeles, we’ve settled on Friday nights at 6 PM as our target, and only need to decide on whose home and on which date in the coming month. We start at 6 PM with a light potluck (our socializing segment has grown to a good half hour) and the meeting runs 6:30-8:30 PM.

Close the Meeting: This may be as simple as "Wow, this was wonderful! Thank you all for coming!"

Further Guidelines

• No cost should be involved, unless there is a fee for your meeting space or if it is needed to help cover costs of photocopying.
• No guilt. Don’t worry if you can’t attend every meeting or write something every week/month.
• Write what you are inspired to write. Share your stories with the group only if you wish to.
• Meet regularly, once a week or once a month, except during holidays.
• Most of the meeting time is spent listening to readings and commenting on them - not critiquing them. (Keep the meetings positive.) We don’t worry about grammar or sentence structure. Our comments are mostly along the lines of "I liked the part about…" or "Could you tell us more about…" The closest we come to negative comments was "I didn’t understand who was talking when…" or, "Can you explain what happened there at the beginning?" or something along those lines.
• Always end on time.

Good luck! We would love to know if you start up a group. You can also always email me with any questions or comments.

SVK