Sat Nam. It has been a really long time since I have posted here. I hope you enjoy this post…. about discovering some "treasures" from Yogi Bhajan while cleaning out my file cabinet. — SVK
My husband and I are in escrow for a new home, and I’m getting in gear for the move at the end of this month. I thought the growing pile of papers on our various desks and dining table should find a home in our files, or be thrown out. So, today I have been in “organization” mode. I printed out new labels for all our files (switching from a numbered system to named folders), bought a few supplies at Office Depot, and have been on the floor the entire afternoon, sorting through everything. After more than five hours, I’m still not done, but have 3 bags full of shredded paper ready for recycling.
There’s some interesting stuff in those old files! I finally “let go” of my prior employer…. discarded the entire file. And, now that I’ve rolled over my profit sharing funds from that job into another account, I can let go of that too. Hallelujah! Life goes on.
Some things I don’t want to let go of. I have a fat file of graded essays from my seven-going-on-eight years of college (I’m finally a senior – in more ways than one – praise God). Of course, they’re all A’s. But that aside, I really enjoy reading these papers once in a while, including my professors’ comments. My favorites include a comparison of the female characters in Heart of Darkness and Frankenstein, titled “Women without a Voice – She talked as thirsty men drank,” and an analysis of the “hero” concept using characters in Beowulf (and no, Beowulf was not my hero). I reread these and a few others and my ego/self esteem felt nicely inflated. I also enjoy seeing how my writing has improved over the years.
Another folder has contents that will always remain close to my heart, stirring memories and bringing deeper reflection. These are letters the Siri Singh Sahib wrote to me, starting in the mid 80s (Sadly, all the letters he wrote to me and my children prior to then mysteriously disappeared at the time of my divorce). I didn’t keep copies of the letters I wrote to him, so it is interesting reading his words, not always sure what he was responding to. I read every single letter, sometimes laughing, sometimes wiping away a tear, but mostly simply welling up in my heart with love and gratitude for the blessing to sit at his feet, to serve him, and to receive his guidance. As someone reminded me today (after I posted a few quotes on an e-group) the letters he wrote were to teach us all, not only the person he was writing to.
Of the letters lost, there is one I especially remember. My eldest daughter, then age 4, had invited Yogiji to her 5th birthday party in June of 1979. He wrote a very sweet letter in reply, apologizing that he would not be able to make it to her party because he would be in Alaska teaching yoga to the Eskimos (I think he was teaching a White Tantric Yoga course in Anchorage). I am really sorry that this letter, and the many others I don’t remember at all, are gone forever. Every few years, I search through my boxes of old notes , photos, Beads of Truth, etc., hoping to find the shoe box I kept them in. When we move at the end of this month, I will probably check these boxes one more time, and then finally let it go.
Here are excerpts from some of the letters I do have… in no particular order.
April 30, 1994:
“We are crossing the ages. It is a very testing time. You don’t have to be in the wrong to be challenged, but you have to practice the technology to handle it. The greater the learning and development, the greater the test.”
May 17, 2000:
“Do not worry about others. Have a relationship between you and your mind. Let your mind be with God, and He will be with you. Do all your jobs perfectly.”
March 7, 1999:
“Understand the strength of your own soul. Always be bountiful in helping others. Serve the Sangat, and God and Guru shall serve you.
“Let the hand of Nanak protect you and the courage of Guru Gobind Singh give you victory. Spread the word of the Shabd Guru. It will give you ecstasy, consciousness, and love.
“Be saintly, and help this planet earth grow into its dignity by your higher consciousness and grace. Go, grow and glow in love, protection, and prayer. Love you very much. Keep up, and inspire each other to rise in the Amrit Vela and meditate on the Guru. I send you my prayers and blessings.”
September 26, 1997:
“Relax. Your children are fine. Let them be, and try not to judge. Do not try to control; it will only lead to frustration. Let the will of God prevail.
“Competing and comparing lead only to confusion. Be kind to people. Watch what you say. Speak consciously.
“Teach Gurbani Kirtan. Are you teaching Gurmukhi? Teach in your spare time, and spread the word of the Guru. Share your talents. I love you. My prayers and blessings are with you.”
May 15, 1995:
“My prayers have been with you for a long time. I know that sometimes you feel that I have forgotten you, but this is your own insecurity. As a woman, if you can drop this insecurity, your life will change very fast. Insecurity is your worst enemy. The unfortunate part is that you do nothing to be insecure about; the whole situation is a non-reality. Please drop all this; it does not suit you. I love you more than you know. You are the best.
“My deepest prayers and blessings are always with you. May Guru Ram Das bless you and guide you.”
April 10, 1007:
“Do not worry. I am with you. We are very close, and you can see me any time. You are my daughter for many years.
“You came to me to learn the word of the Shabd Guru. Now is the time for you to spread it around the world. Love you very much.”
March 20, 1997:
“As you walk the path, know that God is your Guide and grace is your power. Walk on, and leave it to God and Guru. Give Him a chance.
“Move on. Experience God and Guru in you. 1997 is a challenge. Whatever it brings, by Guru’s grace, go through it with honor, peace and dignity. My prayers and blessings are with you.”
August 15, 1994:
“All that is important is that you continue to develop your subtle connection. When I leave this earthly body, the connection will become a pure channel. My son, your husband, must also do the same.”
February 13, 1995:
“Sudarshan Chakra Kriya meditation is a way to create mental, physical and spiritual harmony within. Be at peace in your soul and your mind and pray to Guru Ram Das…”
April 22, 1994:
“To fight me is to fight your destiny, and what benefit can be gained by fighting this destiny? You have to surrender to that destiny.”
March 7, 1994:
“You are already a leader. All that you have to do is to be you.
“You have the power of projection – the ability to penetrate and the power of prayer. Develop your neutral mind and nothing will stop you.”
November 14, 1989:
“Happy birthday. My prayers and love are always with you, although physically I am not. Keep up, and remember who you are.”
November 29, 1988:
“Continue to do your Sadhana and make your commitment unshakable, so that you might inspire others to greatness.”
June 5, 1988:
“Don’t think I don’t know that you are working and striving to overcome the past. Keep up, and nothing shall touch you.”
December 2, 1987:
“Problem is that we take everything as a fad. Marriage is a fad, children are a fad. The reality is that commitment means working out the details. The only problem is when you make the problem. Let it go by, and be graceful. Give him a stability and a confidence that you will come through no matter what.”
October 1, 1984 (this was during probably the worst time of my life):
“Most of my inquiries are to read the aura and find out the truth the way God has blessed me to know that best, but that does not give you [deletion] the permission to sit and judge me. I don’t judge you.
“…If you have patience and try to analyze your ownself in the spirituality you have learned from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib you will be surprised how wise you can act and can safely establish your identity as Siri Ved Kaur and nobody will ever stop you. You have no idea that you have to also establish your identity as a graceful mother. You are not successful about that at all. You have also to establish your identity as a noble woman. I am working hard and you do your homework.
“I am around you all the time in my prayers and I am asking God to give you the wisdom to play your roles as parents. Hang on. Good time is around the corner.”
With Love, Light, and Infinite Gratitude,
Siri Ved Kaur