True Tales

Soon after moving into the ashram in Washington, DC just over 30 years ago, I had an experience which stays with me even today, and shows me how deep the longing of the soul is for the Truth, surpassing our own limited mind’s awareness of that longing. It also shows me the peace that experiencing even a glimpse of the Truth can give to a yearning soul.

I was very afraid of the waves in the ocean at the time I first moved in to the ashram. I would walk beside the ocean and it would look inviting, but as soon as I went in the water, the waves caused me great fear, no matter what their size. My husband patiently tried to help me get over this, but the fear stayed with me. Even when he stood with me in the water, as soon as a wave formed on the far horizon, I would hurriedly retreat to the shore. Just the sight of a slight swell in the water would cause a tightening in my stomach and terror deep within me.

The Washington, DC, community was a few hours from the Atlantic Ocean beaches, and so we would go there a few times in the summer. One night I had a dream about the ocean which at first terrified me, and then inspired me. I was floating on a small raft in the middle of the ocean, and there was no land in sight. A huge, angry blue-gray wave was coming down upon me with terrifying speed and force. I tried to scream but I couldn’t. My stomach was tied in a knot. It seemed inevitable that I was going to die a horrible death.

Suddenly, effortlessly, with no thought, an idea came to me; “Keep in mind Sat Nam” a voice in my head said, “and everything will change.” I said Sat Nam, without thinking, and my experience changed completely. I was totally at peace. The ocean became a beautiful turquoise blue color, with a feeling like an ocean paradise. The “huge” wave washed over me and, rather than being terrifying, it just gently and kindly rocked my raft as I lay in the warm sun. Such peace filled my soul that it is indescribable - I could have stayed there forever, gently rocking, and experiencing beauty and peace that I had not ever known. Time had no meaning. Wave after wave came and went, and the deep peace and contentment never left me.

This dream amazed me, and what I began to understand from it was that Sat Nam, even my short exposure to it, had satisfied a great longing in my soul. Until the dream, I was not even consciously aware of the longing, but even so, I was guided to satisfy that longing on a level that I did not even know was possible until it had already been done. It was a life experience that was outside the thinking and calculating of day to day life. I thank God for His gifts to me – first for bringing the Siri Singh Sahib into my life, secondly for so dramatically showing me the depth of the longing of my soul, and thirdly, for blessing me with the satisfaction of that longing.